Started bar tending... Come see me :)

Ok class… What did we learned today?- Tan-zilla has no business giving her man friend rim jobs in public- Dear Tan-Zilla, the next time you show up in the 3rd fucking period, I will be required by law to pull out your HORRIBLE extensions and *slap you with the scalp skin attached. Also, please note, that I will punch your husband in his uterus. I'm pretty sure he has one and he also lacks a penis.- Boys that try to impress girls at hockey games are brain-less… That's right, I said brain-less. *If there is a girl at a hockey game, that doesn’t look like tan-zilla and/or Fatty McNasty, she probably knows what is going on and doesn’t want to hear the smelly filth coming out of you mouth.- With the above being said, could God/Satan please remove Fatty McNasty from Earth. Acid Wash face and FUPA's scare small children and myself.- I am not allowed to die until the world has been conquered by both Sarah and myself. BUT in the event I do die, I am required to come back as a demon and/or EVIL ghost that rides a 10 speed. I'm just saying… It's Satan's fault.- When riding my 10 speed, the law requires a helmet be worn at all times, mine will be pink with flowers. I dare you to laugh.- People that are usually stupid at work and all the sudden become nice are either sick or dying. I find that it should be my civic duty to put them out of their (A.K.A. my) misery. Yes, kill them.- Most boys are really creepy… This includes, but not limited to: Baldies, Widow's Peak, Car Sales man, Bank Teller, any male that is not Canadian, and Alien Faces.- Canadian's enjoy LOVE brownies, in case you were wondering.- If you go to the movies, BEWARE!!!!- Jen = BAD and rubbed off and has made Sarah = BAD- Cookies at lunch time are the best in the world and make me smile.- I am no longer allowed to eat babies. Period. Sarah says it's bad, especially if we are going to open a day care. I don’t get it… ???- With the above being said, I am not allowed to pull of fake baby hair. **why would you do that to a child anyway?- You mention MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice one time and you are labeled as a freak- With the above being mentioned, if you ask someone if they put on hammer pants and dance in the mirror when they go home, THEY REALLY THINK YOU'RE A TARD.-Getting carded to buy Dayquil is stupid. Getting carded to buy Dayquil followed by, "Have a nice life if I never see you again, by the cahier, SUPER CREEPY and stupid.

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss................

That was me, throwing up last night.

Good times

So, I have a lot planned for the next couple of months... Shreveport, Houston, The West Hampton’s… … …

The one and ONLY thing I am actually looking forward to is retirement, and all of these mini trips are to hold me over for when that day comes. ?Retire? Yes yes yes… I will be retiring next year, with Sarah, and we will be moving to Canada and opening a day care. Ha ha ha ha ha… Yes for children. I swear I won’t eat them, as I have mentioned it in the past and I apologize to all of those families.

Where, what, WHYYYY?

Ok, so Sara and I share a love for Professional Hockey players. Nope… I take that back! We share a love for Canadian men, and basically we sedate them and marry them w/o their permission. This is the reason for all of the mini trips that were mentioned above (Canadian Mens). So, we go to Hockey games, share our “love brownies” with the player that we love and marry them.

Now that you understand why we are moving (men), I would like to share a bit of GOOD news… Sarah and I married today. I know it’s sudden, but she is my conscious… … She helps me from stealing crony dogs from little kids, stabbing people, cutting off faces to make jerky for the family dog, pulling hair and slapping people with scalp skin and most importantly… She has warned me of the dangers of Cherry beer. I know I know… She puts up with a lot, but this is because… … … Well… … I hate to break the news to you this way… … But we are taking over the world and we find that Canada will be the best place to do this.

Wish us luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And come visit before we leave!

So... I don't feel like working at all today, huh obviously... ... I think I just want to talk shit mostly.

Alright so I work at The New AT&T (aka Cingular). I was hired to be "Kronos Support", meaning - - - I created servers, tested them and blew them up (GEEK STREET). I did this so that we (the company) would have these mega servers for when the 2 companies merged. Well... ... ... I was no longer needed in that department after the merge (thank Jeebus) so I transfered to the Tax & Garnishment department of Payroll. That's right... I'm the ass hole-ee-o that granishes wages. I like the whole power feeling (lame). I work in the corporate building in Plano/Frisco area and its... how you say... BLAH. Seriously if I didnt make bank I wouldn't drive 28 miles to work. Because... Believe you me, as much as I love (aka do not love) 2 hours of traffic each way, I would never want to work with actual "people". So, right now I just deal with Lawyers that don't get "their" money fast enough and employees that don't think they should have to pay child support for the 19 kids they have via email... ... Fun, I know. But...

What am I getting at???

Ok... So I used to work kinda with the "techies", I had to sit in that group. Since I have changed departments (still) have not moved and I'm hating life these days. For a while there was the lady that would bang on her keyboard and... ... and... ... AND it would irritate the living FUCK out of me. There was the other lady that asked 400 times a day what the paydate was, when the close out was, can she go into the system and key in the lines, & why are the servers down (she was in the wrong one most of the time)... blah blah blah. Well, neither one of them work here anymore :):) So, for a while, I only had to deal with one person and I love that chick. She's damn funny... Yesterday they hired the new guy, his name is Art. Ok... Overly smart people freak me out.

1 - he stares at me (but I do wear low cut shirts... SO... )
2- his pants are really short
3- he has uber greasy hair
4- he has weird glasses that freak me out
5- he smells like fried chicken and I can smell it as i type this out.

Ummm... Back to number 5 - I thought maybe big boy ate some for lunch and he just reeeeaaallllyyyy enjoyed himself... NO!!! He smells like it today also, And on top of it all.. ....
Someone in the group was eating bacon this morning so it smells like fried bacon chicken.

GROSS

meee so pretty